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Who Can Adopt a Child?
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Advice for single people, married couples, domestic partners, and lesbians
and gay men.
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 As a general rule, any adult who is considered a "fit parent"
may adopt a child, but some states have special requirements for adoptive
parents. In a few states, adoptive parents must be a certain number of years
older than the child. In others, adoptive parents must be state residents
for a specified length of time before they are allowed to adopt. If you're
adopting through an agency, you may also have to meet additional agency
requirements, which are often stricter than state laws.
In addition, some individuals or couples are likely to have more difficulty
adopting than others. For instance, a single man or a lesbian couple may
have a harder time finding a placement than a married heterosexual couple
will, even though technically they should be able to adopt. This happens
because all states look to the "best interests of the child"
when making a placement determination. Many state courts or agencies will
use the "best interests" argument to judge a prospective adoptive
parent or couple according to preconceived biases about who makes a good
or a fit parent. And sometimes birth parents who are placing their children
with an agency for adoption have some of the same biases.Below we discuss
the issues or roadblocks some folks are likely to run into
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Different Race or Ethnic Background
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You do not need to be the same race as the child you want to adopt, but
some states do give preference to prospective adoptive parents of the same
race or ethnic background of the child. Adoptions of Native American children
are governed by a federal law -- the Indian Child Welfare Act -- that outlines
specific rules and procedures that must be followed when adopting a Native
American child.
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Lesbians and Gay Men
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Only Florida and Utah specifically prohibit lesbians and gay men from
adopting children, but that doesn't mean it's easy to adopt in other states.
Even if sexual orientation is not specifically mentioned in a state adoption
statute, it can become an issue in court. Some judges will use it to find
a prospective adoptive parent to be unfit.
In addition, in some states it is difficult for a lesbian or gay person
or couple to find an agency that will work with them.
On the other hand, gay men and lesbians all over the country do adopt
children, and an increasing number of states are allowing gay and lesbian
couples to adopt jointly. However, lesbians and gay men will need an experienced
attorney to handle an adoption.
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Single People
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As a single person you may have to wait longer for a placement or be flexible
about the child you adopt. Agencies often "reserve" healthy infants
and younger children for two-parent families, putting single people at the
bottom of their waiting lists. And birth parents themselves often want their
children to be placed in a two-parent home.
If you're a single person wishing to adopt, you should be prepared to
make a good case for your fitness as a parent. You can expect case workers
to ask why you haven't married, how you plan to support and care for the
child on your own, what will happen if you do marry, and other questions
that will put you in the position of defending your status as a single
person. To many single adoptive parents such rigorous screening doesn't
seem fair, but it is commonplace.
Agencies serving children with special needs may be a good option for
singles, because they often cast a wider net when considering adoptive
parents. Being flexible about your choices will make it easier to overcome
the resistance to single-parent adoptions.
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Domestic Partners
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There is no specific prohibition against unmarried couples' adopting children
(sometimes called a two-parent adoption). Like singles, however, you may
find that agencies are biased towards married couples. You may have a longer
wait for a child, or you may have to expand your ideas about the child you
are willing to adopt.
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